(Okay, I'm assuming this is how it's supposed to be done, unless if I should have put this in a sta.sh link or something.)
In honor of this [obtuse] occasion, we present a major revamp to our Pacapillar mascot, [Deficient] Hero! Oh, he may look a bit [dopey] but rest assure, he and his [glass-blowing] powers are ready to [bonk] the [dense] hollos and their [thick] [cheeks]!
Sure, he doesn’t [drudge] with [Maskmaker] and he’s got a [kazoo] on his head feeler the size of [a walnut], but as sure as his name is [Deficient] Hero, he’ll be there to [clap], [tap], and [slap] all day, everyday!